Help Save My Marriage With These Exercises
One of the most common requests to marriage counselors and psychologists today is "Help save my marriage." With divorce rates for first marriages at an all time high and the divorce rate for second marriages above the 70th percentile, it is no wonder that so may people are trying to figure out what is wrong with their marriages. It is also no wonder that so many psychologists today are trying to help save marriage.
Marriages where one or both of the people in the couple are suffering from problems such as alcoholism, drug addictions, addictions to pornography, or where there is a presence of physical abuse are in need of serious therapy and rehabilitation. These are problems that can not be solved by the couple alone, no matter how much they want to help save marriage.
There are many marriages however, where the application of 'The Golden Rule' could seriously improve the relationship. If you are thinking about what you need to do to help save my marriage, you may want to try this exercise which has helped many couples already. Do you remember 'The Golden Rule' from when you were a child? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
We all want to be treated properly and your spouse is no different. Use this as a guiding principle when talking to your partner. Make sure you speak softly and calmly. Be pleasant to them even in simple things like greeting them nicely when they get home from work. Don't nag for things to get done - you can ask nicely and then maybe do it yourself. Remember that you're working on and saving your marriage and a little annoyance is a small price to pay.
When you married this person, you loved them with your whole heart, right? In truth, you still do. Unfortunately, all of the garbage of life has blown through and covered that up. The mess can be 'cleaned up'. You have the answer to the question, "How can I help save my marriage?" Love means putting the other person's feelings ahead of your own, and in time they will do the same.
Finally, don't say that you've already done everything that we have described in this article. There can be a lot of accumulated guilt and pain in a marriage, and that won't go away in an instant. You need to decide that you want to save you marriage, and then recognize that there is a lot of hard work ahead to fix the damage caused by a year's fighting. Working together with your spouse, you can say, "I did help save my marriage."
In the old days, 'til death do us part" had a binding meaning and no one went around asking how to save marriage. Seems like those days are over, and people often find themselves asking "How to save my marriage?" You can save your marriage through an array of resources available to those willing to work things out, without going to the extreme of divorce. You shouldn't decide to end your marriage just because it isn't as exciting as it once was. To avoid ending your marriage you must understand that you are making a permanent commitment and be confident enough to stay and work things out.
Published January 13th, 2008
Filed in Women